You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
