if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
