Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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