she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
