would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
