He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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