If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
