im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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