Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
