RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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