I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
