So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
