3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm just crazy horny about you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize