think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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