YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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