My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
