So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
