Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize