If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
