Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
