I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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