well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
