So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
