How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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