Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
