rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
