I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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