come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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