Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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