exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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