youre lurking in front of me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
