So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
