How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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