what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
