they need to just BURY HIM!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
