Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
FUCK WHALES
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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