Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
