Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
