After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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