Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize