She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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