I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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