is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
