Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
