The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
