Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
