I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
