I wanna passion pit in your ass
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm getting married
To pizza
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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