do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
