someone threw a dead crab at me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
