i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
