Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
