dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
