you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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