im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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