but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
