You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I touched a dick in church today
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
