Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
the raccoons are back...
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